We interrupt this broadcast...

News is filtering through from our sources inside the Austrian resistance of vile and nefarious acts being perpetrated in the basement of a certain Schloss!

These are indeed uncertain and unsettling times, but it is difficult to verify the facts at this point.  We are looking to boost the signal output to gain a clearer understanding of what might be occurring.  Wait!  Yes, it is becoming clearer...

It is worse than we feared!  A full and detailed report of these abhorrent absurdities can be found over at 'Make it Miniature'...

Click HERE...

                                                        ...if you dare!  

Dinosaur Detector™

It will not have escaped many, that I have a ‘thing’ for dinosaurs.  I’m not sure why, but as a small chap something about them sparked my imagination.  The different shapes, the different sizes, the ridiculously long names that a precocious young Master Awdry seemed to be able to reel off at will, all combined with a heady mix of fear and mystery; yes it is true, everything is better with Dinosaurs.

Now a tad older, if not wiser, this love of all things prehistoric is as strong as ever and occasionally the passion is indulged.* One such indulgence is the recently discovered Dinosaur Detector™ – surely every Dinosaur lover’s perfect gift?

* The less said about the six foot inflatable Tyrannosaurus Rex that resides in my study at school the better!

I can’t deny that I was a smidge sceptical when I first saw this listed on a well known internet auction site, the scepticism somewhat heightened when I recently discovered that the company has changed the listing description, which you can see here, but all said and done this did present a thoroughly reasonable investment.

In a fit of childlike enthusiasm, I brushed aside all doubts and clicked ‘buy now’ and didn’t give the matter another thought until, that is, the Dinosaur Detector™ arrived on the doormat of ‘Awdry Towers’.  The excitement was palpable as I fell upon the package and in a ripping frenzy only matched by the king of lizards himself unearthed my prize!  Following the instructions to the letter I carefully filled the dinosaur detector with water and waited…

and waited, and waited.  In fact just when I had given up all hope and had started to scour the company’s webstore for a returns policy something amazing happened – another shudder and it was clear to all, the dinosaurs were coming!

Now good reader you have been patient for long enough so it is only fair that I share with you my record of this morning’s adventure.  I leave you with incontrovertible proof that my Dinosaur Detector™ is fully operational and hope that you enjoy the rest of this first day in April.

Post Script

To see another Dinosaur Detector™ in action you might be entertained by the following link: "Where's the goat?"

28mm Shipwreck in a bottle.

Once again I have rather succumbed to the wares of those talented chaps over at 'Mysterious Minis'; the purveyors of the perplexing and enigmatic have done it again and released another 'must have' hard plastic kit. 

Sculpted by the mischievous Ffwl Ebrill, this set really is a delight to behold with the box containing all you need to recreate a devastating catastrophe at sea.  Perhaps more interesting, and certainly a departure for me, was the option to use the kit to reproduce the lost art of placing a ship in the bottle - albeit it in tiny bits!  

The clear instructions guide even the most novice of modellers through the careful application of plasticine to create the destructive waves, umask the complexities of whipping the end of the bottle closed and even show you how to send a distress signal using morse code.  It really is a wonderful kit and I am delighted to share it with you on this the first day of April!

28mm Rustled Livestock!

I've been thoroughly enjoying Loki's posts regarding the recently released range of miniatures from 'Warbases'; this new menagerie of animals are just perfect for adding a bit of depth to any table and reminded me that I had recently picked up some exciting new additions for my own collection.  Yes those talented chaps over at 'Mysterious Minis', purveyors of the perplexing and enigmatic have done it again and released another must have box of miniatures. 

Sculpted by the mischievous Ffwl Ebrill, this set really is a delight to behold with the box containing all you need to give your cows or sheep that just rustled look.  With fencing, barbed wire and enough livestock to keep even the most fervent thief busy on a moonlight night, the magical ingredients have to be a couple of pre-sculpted base plates.  

The box contents.

Designed to provide the evidence of foul play, the two sculpted base plates give you a couple of options to depict either the tracks of a horse drawn cart of perhaps a more modern alternative by using the one with tyre tracks - ingenious! 

These were some of the most exquisitely detailed miniatures you could wish to find, provided of course that you could find them.  The fences and base plates aside, it was the livestock that really sets this set apart from the rest, but they are proving somewhat elusive - yes it would appear that some ne'er do wells have liberated my prize steeds and on the first day of April as well!   

The tyre base plate painted up.

28mm Marie Celeste Crew

You must excuse my excitement, but I just couldn't wait to share this wonderful discovery with you all. For the life of me I can't remember ordering this exquisite box of miniatures and so you can imagine my surprise when they dropped onto the doormat of 'Awdry Towers'; mind you I say 'dropped' but I never actually heard them arrive, I simply became aware that they were there, such is their ethereal quality.

Now I freely admit that there has been a noticeable absence of things nautical, here at '28mm Victorian Warfare' as I am, after all, somewhat of a landlubber – ships being a necessary evil, particularly when it comes to the transportation of the requisite components required in the blending of my beloved Earl Grey tea.  That said the mystery that surrounded the stricken Marie Celeste and its luckless crew saw them elevated to the front of the painting queue.

Box contents

The company, 'Mysterious Minis' and their sculptor, the prolific talent that is Ffwl Ebrill, have done a tremendous job on this project.  The hard plastic sprues are comparable to the best of the 'Perry Miniatures' ranges and the fine detail is so exquisite that one could easily be forgiven for missing it altogether; as for mould lines, they are simply non existent on this product - a real boon indeed!

The variation and historical accuracy are fabulous and careful construction means that virtually the whole crew of seven can be represented without a single pose duplicated. The Captain, Benjamin Briggs (third from left in the photograph below) is superb – his Abraham Lincoln look reminds one of Captain Ahab no less!  As for Roger, the Cabin Boy (far right) his expression is one of absolute joy, standing as he is next to the ship's Master, Bates. 

Ready for painting on Fenris Games bases.

 The miniatures were not as easy to paint as one had hoped, the clothing of a C19th merchantman’s crew was somewhat sober at best, and one’s painting skills were certainly put to the test.  In a bid to render the desired palette, I resorted to what felt like an infinitesimal amount of near translucent washes; time consuming, but ultimately rewarding.  

A lovely addition to the box was the inclusion of a white metal table and bench, just perfect to represent that last meal or to offer some clue as to the fate of the crew; you can almost read the date at the top of the parchment - April 1^st!

The Thin 'Bread' Line!

For the first time in many years, war had broken out over the breakfast table at 'Awdry Towers'. The origins are lost in the mists of time, but as of late, a coalition of enemy forces have placed a severe strain on the forces of righteousness. With their backs against the condiments, only a hand-full of troops stood between them and utter destruction. These troops would go down in history as.... 'The Thin Bread Line'.

In these days of enforced austerity this most wholesome hobby of ours can prove a little restrictive on the old wallet.  It was this very thought that saw the 'Provost Marshal' and myself mull over some ideas for an inexpensive, yet versatile alternative to white metal; we share our findings today, of all days, and the solution was wonderfully simple... toast soldiers!

Provided that they are properly prepared, toast soldiers are very responsive to the brush.  

Although there are many different brands on the market, these are just a few that we found that gave a good, even covering.

It didn't take long before a fully assembled unit was ready for action...

a visit from the 'Big Cheese' boosted morale.

Before long our thoughts turned to gaming and in readiness an 'Objective Marker' was hastily constructed.

This was complimented by a 'Casualty Marker'. (raspberry jam & spaghetti)

So it was that we found ourselves joined in battle.  With the 'Provost Marshal' favouring all things Napoleonic it was perhaps not unsurprising that the 'Thin Bread Line's' first opponents were the French.  The line held firm after the initial bombardment from the French artillery, however...

the strength of their attack could only be described as "overwhelming".

Delighted with how versatile our new troops were proving to be we decided to employ them in other theatres of operation where they were to be more that a match for the Italians, who were beaten back by a bayonet charge leaving them well sliced up!

The 'Line' also stood firm against a very strong 'Army of Chilli'...

was resolute in the face of the advancing 'Mandarins' but ...

a final attack was launched by an enemy in overwhelming strength - there were literally 'Hundreds and Thousands' of them! 

The victory celebrations of the two allied commanders was shattered by the arrival of the Saintly Mrs. Awdry, whose broadcast to the relieved nation consisted of just five powerful words - "Stop playing with your food!".

So there we have it, the answer to all our financial woes, a 'Thin Bread Line!'  I should add a huge vote of thanks to my partner in crime, the 'Provost Marshal' and add also the observation that not only are toast soldiers wonderfully versatile, but they are also a joy to convert too!  So with a little 'bling' and a Vegemite mohawk I leave you with these parting words from the one and only, 'B.A. Baracus'...

“I Pity the April Fool!”