For the first time in many years, war had broken out over the breakfast table at 'Awdry Towers'. The origins are lost in the mists of time, but as of late, a coalition of enemy forces have placed a severe strain on the forces of righteousness. With their backs against the condiments, only a hand-full of troops stood between them and utter destruction. These troops would go down in history as.... 'The Thin Bread Line'.
In these days of enforced austerity this most wholesome hobby of ours can prove a little restrictive on the old wallet. It was this very thought that saw the 'Provost Marshal' and myself mull over some ideas for an inexpensive, yet versatile alternative to white metal; we share our findings today, of all days, and the solution was wonderfully simple... toast soldiers!
Provided that they are properly prepared, toast soldiers are very responsive to the brush.
Although there are many different brands on the market, these are just a few that we found that gave a good, even covering.
It didn't take long before a fully assembled unit was ready for action...
a visit from the 'Big Cheese' boosted morale.
Before long our thoughts turned to gaming and in readiness an 'Objective Marker' was hastily constructed.
This was complimented by a 'Casualty Marker'. (raspberry jam & spaghetti)
So it was that we found ourselves joined in battle. With the 'Provost Marshal' favouring all things Napoleonic it was perhaps not unsurprising that the 'Thin Bread Line's' first opponents were the French. The line held firm after the initial bombardment from the French artillery, however...
the strength of their attack could only be described as "overwhelming".
Delighted with how versatile our new troops were proving to be we decided to employ them in other theatres of operation where they were to be more that a match for the Italians, who were beaten back by a bayonet charge leaving them well sliced up!
The 'Line' also stood firm against a very strong 'Army of Chilli'...
was resolute in the face of the advancing 'Mandarins' but ...
a final attack was launched by an enemy in overwhelming strength - there were literally 'Hundreds and Thousands' of them!
The victory celebrations of the two allied commanders was shattered by the arrival of the Saintly Mrs. Awdry, whose broadcast to the relieved nation consisted of just five powerful words - "Stop playing with your food!".
So there we have it, the answer to all our financial woes, a 'Thin Bread Line!' I should add a huge vote of thanks to my partner in crime, the 'Provost Marshal' and add also the observation that not only are toast soldiers wonderfully versatile, but they are also a joy to convert too! So with a little 'bling' and a Vegemite mohawk I leave you with these parting words from the one and only, 'B.A. Baracus'...
“I Pity the April Fool!”
Great fun! :)
ReplyDeleteBut the Vegemite scares me ;)
I guess you 'either love it or you hate it', or was that another yeast based product? ;)
DeleteI had a little tear forming in my eye, at the sight of our national spread, Vegemite!
ReplyDeleteNice post.
Frank
http://adventuresinlead.blogspot.com.au/
I love the casualty figure! lol
ReplyDeleteSome people clearly have far too much spare time on their hands! Absolutly brilliant Michael. Really enjoyed reading this. I would have to recommend Marmite over Vegemite though!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rodger, just couldn't resist doing something a bit silly for today!
DeleteVery cute, Michael!
ReplyDeleteBut don't listen to the wafflings (geddit?; waffle!) of a Kiwi; everyone knows they have no taste when it comes to breakfast spreads! ;-)
Now Gentlemen please, there will be no more falling out over the breakfast table! ;)
DeleteLol!! Love it!
ReplyDeleteit's original. :)
ReplyDeleteMichael fantastic stuff, now if your could do the same with fruit and vegatables I might just get the kids to acheive 5 a day.... :-)
ReplyDeleteCracking post.
Cheers
Stu
Stuart what a great idea! the thin 'Breadfruit' line! I suppose there is always next year!
Deletevery funny - a great April fool day post
ReplyDeleteThanks Dave; a bit much just to squeeze the B.A. punchline in, but hugely entertaining!
DeleteA toast to silly posts!!! :-D
ReplyDeleteIf the bread soldiers "spread" themselves out and go crackers, they would defeat the 100´s and 1000´s easily..it´d be a piece of cake for them.
Cheers
Paul
'Crumbs' you're far too quick Paul! ;-)
DeleteI Toast your Post. Marvellous
ReplyDeleteI Toast Your Post. Marvellous
ReplyDeleteLOL great post and very amusing.
ReplyDeleteThanks to one and all and especially my good friend the 'Provost Marshal' who, when he finally finished questioning my sanity, got stuck right dreaming up all manner of scenarios and ended up penning many of the puns!
ReplyDeleteSimply priceless :-)
ReplyDeleteLOl!! Very, very good!!!!! Nice brushwork!
ReplyDeleteSuperb! LOL
ReplyDeleteDarrell.
THATS OUT THERE, MICHAEL...VERY CREATIVE
ReplyDeleteVery original post! ;-)
ReplyDeleteOne thing. I hope she shouted: "stop playing with MY food" and not what you have written??? I would have taken her food to make this very nice post! :-D
Greetings
Peter
http://peterscave.blogspot.com/
Brilliant, but now my daughter wants all her toast soldiers to be shaped like that!
ReplyDeleteI like the cut of your jib young un. Very very funny.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sir, you are most kind; welcome aboard!
Delete