Are you lonesome tonight?

It would appear to be my turn to have a liberal interpretation of the fortnightly bonus round themes in the 'VI Annual Analogue Hobbies Painting Challenge'. This whole bizarre scenario came about through word association: L’amour* = love songs = Elvis Presley = Elvis loves fast food = Fast food is made from Braaains! Tenuous doesn’t really come in to it, but I invite you to sit back and enjoy some self indulgent nonsense.

*L'amour was the theme for this round with publication falling on St. Valentine's Day.

 

The stage door slammed shut, “Elvis has left the building!” Bubba never grew tired of saying that, but it certainly wasn’t getting any easier being a tribute act. There seemed to be a lack of connect with his audience, certainly a little less conversation, but did he really even understand young people today? There was a time when they just used to scream and occasionally adorn the stage with their underwear but tonight it looked as if there were actually eating each other – that must be burning love he thought.

Dismissing the disturbing thought to the back of his mind he pushed off into the inky black night to be greeted with a familiar smell that stimulated his olfactory glands, the sweet scent of fried onions, supper was served! Love me (a) tender steak, but there aint nothin’ like a hot dog (sic.), he grinned and as he slung he trusty guitar over his shoulder and went in search of nourishment.

Before his blue suede shoes had had a chance to turn onto to ‘You’llnever Walk’ alone he was sent spiralling as a blood soaked pole dancer, wearing little more than a length of dental floss, ricocheted off him as she chased down her quarry. As the dancer fell upon her prey a plume of blood arched against the nearby wall; these were definitely not kissin' cousins!

Bubba righted himself, glancing down just in time to see a dismembered body pulling itself towards him like a puppet on a string; what was going on? Sidestepping the living cadaver, Bubba made one last attempt for the hot dog stand it's now or never he thought, but his route was barred when a gigantic shape shuffled into sight, that's alright Mama, sighed the tribute act, all the time thinking that she had let herself go, “you’ve clearly got a case of the mean woman blues”.

Not known for his suspicious minds even Bubba was starting to grasp that something was very wrong in the Ghetto tonight and was relieved to feel the cold press of steel tucked inside his belt. The mother of pearl inlaid handles belying a calibre that would return to sender any assailant. Having suddenly lost his appetite and feeling decidedly all shook up Bubba whispered to himself, “I’ll do anything to be lonesome tonight!”

Keen eyed viewers will spot that my ‘Whitechapel’ base has been recycled, but with a few subtle alterations. The paving has been ripped up and fresh tarmac has been laid with the addition of double yellow lines and a fire hydrant. A stage door and lintel had to be added along with additional rusty iron security bars across the existing window frame. Finally the addition of a couple of suitably themed posters saw the set transformed ahead of the zombie apocalypse!

The star of the show, Bubba, is from ‘Hasslefree Miniatures’ as indeed is Zombie Suzi who is clearly channelling a St. Trinian’s vibe and both sculpted by Kev White. The exotic dancer and crawler zombie were part of the recent ‘Studio Miniatures’ Kickstarter with the Hot Dog stand coming from the Mars Attacks terrain kit and ably manned by a Zombicide VIP**. Finally we have Bonnie Muumuu zombie from ‘Reaper Miniatures’, a P. Muller creation painted with a nod to ‘The Simpsons’ - King-Size Homer 1995.

**VIP = Very Infected People 

I appreciate that this is not going to be to everyone’s tastes***, but hopefully it will raise a smile or two.  I must ,of course, remind you gentle reader that my entry is only one of many and if you are in the slightest bit curious as to how a group of wargamers and hobby painters interpret the theme 'L'amour' you need only go here; perhaps even cast a vote for your favourite?

“Thank you very much”

***my apologies for the dreadful pun