If it bleeds, we can kill it.

Epic Fail?  A title that could so easily have been referring to my contribution for this bonus round as I was totally stumped for ideas when I first read it.  Still unperturbed I took it upon myself to indulge in a bit of web based research only to lose an hour of my life chuckling at the great many de-motivational posters that appear when typing in said title – people can be so cruel, but then again people can be so stupid!    Humour was going to be important in this round, something mildly absurd that it draws a smile over the most cynical of faces.

I considered famous military blunders of which there are many; the Charge of Light Brigade, Little Big Horn and Maginot Line to name but a few.  In the end it came down to using miniatures that I already had and in this case I fell upon the Dogs of War set from 'Rogue Miniatures'.

This seven piece team of exquisitely sculpted mercenaries, armed to the teeth with a vast array of weaponry, bore an uncanny likeness to a certain team of commandos.  A team that was last seen on a mission in an unspecified Central American jungle only to find themselves hunted by an extra-terrestrial trophy hunter;  I refer, of course, to one of the Austrian Oak’s finer celluloid outings – Predator.  I have to confess that I love this film, probably because I was of a very impressionable age when it received its theatrical release in 1987 and there is one scene, above all, that qualifies it to represent in the epic fail round.

How is it that a crack team of elite Special Forces troops manage to 'unload' vast quantities of ammunition into the jungle and miss everything?  For a full sixty seconds* the team decimate the rain forest faster than a logging company and fail, epically, to bring down their target!

 *I know because I timed it!

"No blood, no bodies... We hit nothing!"

Still not all was lost as a splatter of lurid, green blood on one of few remaining plants in the vicinity suggests that the Predator was now, at least, be sporting a flesh wound! Yes this was cinematic gold and hugely entertaining nonsense, held together with some fine scriptwriting that proffered such memorable lines as,

"I've seen some bad-ass bush before, man, but nothin' like this."

"You lose it here; you're in a world of hurt."

and the immortal,

"Get to da Chopper!"

So my contribution to second round was made up of eight** 28mm miniatures on a scenic base and is intended as a homage rather than an actual representation of the infamous scene; especially as devotees of the film will be quick to point out that it was Blaine, the self proclaimed "god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus", whose untimely end prompts the ensuing 'lead fest', with Sergeant Mac Eliot picking up, "Ol' Painless", a hand-held M134 Minigun, and firing off two hundred rounds - Epic Fail!

**I had considered just painting seven and claiming an additional five points for a 'cloaked' Predator,!

The Predator was an impulse buy from the Predastore, a curious consortium of sculptors commissioned from a central base in Switzerland. The company produce a range of exquisitely sculpted 'hunters'; this one imaginatively dubbed, 'Chasing Hunter' is sculpted by Remy Tremblay. Each miniature is limited in its run and when this number is reached is never cast again. From the outset I was a tad apprehensive as I was venturing into a more exclusive market and unsure as to whether or not I would be able to do justice to the miniature. When it arrived the apprehension rose a notch or two on seeing so many tiny pieces that needed to be assembled.

On a positive note there were a minimal amount of mould lines and where there was any flash it was so paper thin that it disappeared when I washed the model - this was serious stuff! I instantly packed it away and tried to forget just how much I had spent on a single miniature. When I say packed away I mean carelessly threw it into a box with other miniatures, for when I came to assemble it for this project, I was missing some flaying dreadlocks and the beast's mandibles were somewhat denuded!

I managed to fill the gaps in his scalp with greenstuff, but my dentistry skills are clearly not up to scratch, but having tentatively drilled and pinned his wrist I wasn't prepared to chance my arm much further. When it came to painting I was pleasantly surprised how straightforward it was and having established a palate for skin, leather and armour it all rather fell into place much to my relief.

 Finally, then, the jungle which went through several incarnations before I settled on the current offering based again on a 'Warbases' 120mm MDF disc, with smaller discs to aid standing the miniatures on.  The palms, from 'The Model Tree Shop' are slotted into root like holders so that they can be removed and reused, whilst the etched brass tree ferns, available through 'Hasslefree Miniatures', are fixed with little lumps of green stuff.  

From the most unlikely of starting points, I have to say that I am delighted with how the entry progressed and thrilled to have finally tackled some miniatures that have been too long overlooked.  Of course my entry is only one of many and I would urge you to go and see the others here.